Hanging on in there

The other night I was watching the film “The Lake House”, I’ve watched the film many times because I love it. But this time after it finished I felt really quite sad because of the parallels, (loosely), in my relationship.

For those of you who don’t know the film it’s a fantasy romance where the 2 lead characters, Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock, are having a relationship but they are separated by time, 2 years. They communicate by letter via the post box at the Lake house where they both live, a bit confusing,  eventually they do meet up in the same time zone and live happily ever after.

Obviously my hubby and I aren’t separated by time, we have the wonderful Skype to keep in contact and I can visit him when annual leave allows, but this living in different countries sucks. I never thought it would be this tough and it’s been made tougher by my HR department’s inability to get  my pay right. As a result I don’t have a valid payslip yet with my correct salary shown for Hasan’s visa application. I sometimes wonder whether we’ll be together over here at all much before Christmas.

I’m sure some of you out there are thinking why don’t I just go back and live with Hasan in Turkey, I know sometimes I think maybe it would be easier. But now I’ve recovered from my illness I want to work, I want to resume my nursing career, a job I love and we need the money. To work in Turkey I would need a work permit, you can only get a work permit for jobs Turks can’t do, there are plenty of  Turkish nurses so I wouldn’t get a permit to do that. I’m not interested in doing poorly paid illegal work, it’s not worth the risk of getting deported and I’m worth more than that.

I can’t face another boring winter with nothing to do and sometimes not enough money to heat the house because there is no work for Hasan. I can’t cope again with not seeing him in the summer when he does seasonal work from 8 in the morning till midnight or sometimes later. In order to have a comfortable life in Turkey you need to have money in the bank or get used to living hand to mouth like a student. I’ve already done that when I was actually a student and have no desire to live like that again.

Also I want Hasan to experience where I come from and my culture. I want him to meet the rest of my family and all my friends. I want him to get a British passport so that he can travel more  freely without having to get a visa. At the moment there’s not many places he can go without a visa, however there are plenty of war torn countries we could holiday in, I hear Syria is lovely this time of year!

I don’t think it’s too much to ask to share my life in my country for a while with the man I love.

But getting back to the film there is a scene where Keanu and Sandra meet at a party and dance to a Paul McCartney song. The song is just beautiful and the lyrics make me weep just a little bit.

Now Keanu and Sandra may not be your cup of tea but I have a soft spot for them, you could always just shut your eyes and listen to the music.

 

 

 

 

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All in a great cause

On Saturday a group of mainly women from a few local classes, a couple of husbands were dragged along,  got together to do a charity zumba session. With our zumba instructors for 2 hours we salsa’d, shimmied, jumped, twisted and turned in aid of the charity Women’s Aid.

Women’s Aid is a national charity dedicated to the welfare and protection of women and children who suffer domestic abuse. They have been around for more than 30 years working to promote women’s rights, to try and prevent domestic abuse and to support those affected by this despicable crime.

We had a great time even though we didn’t know half the routines as the instructors took it in turns to lead a routine and we only knew the dances our instructors did in our weekly classes. But that didn’t matter because we still got the exercise trying to catch up!

I did take some photos but I don’t think my fellow zumberers would appreciate being shown online having just done 2 hours of intense exercise, I certainly don’t want to show you all my red face and my sweaty hair stuck to my head!

Here is a link to Women’s Aid website  http://www.womensaid.org.uk

 

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A cruel illness

On this day 19 years ago I lost my dad to Motor Neurone Disease (MND).  He was diagnosed with this dreadful illness 2 years before he died,  after displaying symptoms of slurred speech and being unsteady on his feet. Unfortunately it didn’t take long for the symptoms to escalate, only months later he was in a wheelchair and he was very soon bed bound and unable to care for himself at all.

For me the worst symptom to cope with was that he was unable to speak for much of his illness, it was very frustrating for him as he couldn’t communicate without the aid of a typing machine and towards the end of his life that was almost impossible for him to use. After he died I found myself watching the video of my first wedding over and over just to hear his voice because I couldn’t remember what it sounded like.

My dad was extremely fit and walked everywhere before he got ill, this disease cruelly took his independence and life. Even though it’s been 19 years I still find his illness and death hard to deal with. I wish he could have met my sister in law and my nieces and I wish he could have seen the strapping young men my sons have grown into. But I’m not sure what he would have made of me running off and marrying a young Turk!!

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Unbelievably there is still only one charity dedicated to MND. They seem to be making some breakthrough with finding the cause and possible treatments but still seem to be a long way off offering anything concrete.

June is MND awareness month and there are plenty of fundraising events to get involved with, so that more lovely dosh can be raised to carry on the good work. Check out the link below and let’s see if we can kick this foul disease up the butt!!

<a title=”Fundraising: Fundraising – There are many exciting ways you can raise much-needed funds for the MND Association – either as Get Yourself Involved or through your Get Your Business Involved or to Do Your Own Thing.” href=”http://www.mndassociation.org/ca6ac6fe17b24e5298a6d1ca80382399?